1. I’m back at Borders for the summer, and after only a day of work I’ve noticed that people’s level of attractiveness is directly disproportionate to the amount of erotica and/or pornography they purchase. I’m not saying that hot people aren’t dirty birds too, but at least they have the decency and self-respect to consume trash in the privacy and comfort of their own homes via the interweb. Also, I almost threw up behind my register today after a 60-year-old obese woman with a beard bought S&M anime porn. (Called “Dungeons.” Wonder what it’s about.)
2. My vampire came back in today!!!! He looks paler and skinnier than ever. He left after a few minutes of browsing (non-fiction, weirdly enough, not Charlaine Harris books), but I still bet he could smell me from across the register. I want to be your human friend, Borders customer vampire! Please don’t eat me.
